A few months ago I decided to take the plunge and enter the NZIPP Iris Awards, the most prestigioius photo awards in New Zealand. I submitted my favourite photo I took this year- a spur of the moment hongi between a dad and his sweet young girl during a family photoshoot.
There were 127 entries in the Family category. I nervously watched the YouTube livestream of the judging yesterday, heart pounding as it crept closer to #90 for my turn. Kelly Brown, the photographer I admire and look up to more than any other in this industry, suddenly swapped into the judging panel. I held my breath.
I got a 73, two points shy of the 75 needed for the bronze award.
Yes, this photo has a major "flaw." The beam of light going across Dad's face. They- justifiably- said it took them away from the focus of the image.
But the judge said something else. She highlighted the "stunning connection" captured. And that's what drives me. That's what I want to deliver to my clients in their gallery.
There's a quote I heard recently from Ben Okri. It comes into my head most days. As soon as I heard it, I put it elsewhere on my website because it encapsulates everything:
"Where there is perfection, there is no story to tell."
I believe in making quality photographs. I work hard to get the lighting right, to not cut off anyone's limbs or have a tree growing out of their head. But perfection doesn't exist, and I will always find the connection and the moment more important than getting everything element of photography "right." And if I had spent more than a few moments taking the photo to get the lighting and frame perfect, I may have missed that incredible embrace, that relaxed expression, serene and heartfelt and completely unforced.
I went back and saw that there was in fact a similar photo from that session with no distracting light beam. But the expression, while beautiful, wasn't the same. It didn't provoke the same emotional reaction in me.
When I'm doing this style of photography, I don't just want to capture how it looks but how it feels. I must have looked at this photo 100 times by now and every single time I am bowled over by the love I know that papa is showing his little girl.
This is in no way to say the judges were wrong in their assessment! I completely understand and agree with their reasoning. And hey, if I'm not winning awards, that means I have room to grow. I will keep refining, keep learning. I will push my creativity. I will look to incorporate more storytelling. This is a craft. It doesn't happen overnight.
I can't lie- I was disappointed. To get so close was gutting. But taking part and seeing everyone else's stunning family portraits makes me so happy to be part of this amazing craft and pushes me to get better. I walk away from this experience feeling inspired and hopeful.
And proud! Proud of my work, and proud of myself for taking the plunge. For opening myself to critique. It's not easy to be judged, to ask someone to judge you. But it's the only way to grow, and the only person I need to compare myself to is the one I was last year.
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